Be Anxious About Nothing, Including Connor's Weight

I made a decision this morning.  I'm going to stop stressing out about Connor's weight.  This is a very big deal for me.

Ever since his 4 month appointment when we learned that he was in the 80th percentile for height and 10th percentile for weight, I basically freaked out thinking that I must have been starving my poor child and it was all my fault and he desperately needed to pack on the pounds.  I started him on rice cereal about an hour after that appointment ended.  My goal over the past 6 weeks has been to fatten him up.  It has all been in preparation for his 6 month appointment, which is next Monday.  At this appointment, all I've wanted is to hear the words "Wow! Your baby looks so chubby and healthy!"  More specifically, my goal has been that he doubles his birth weight.  14 pounds and 14 ounces.  I've weighed him almost daily to see how quickly we're inching our way there and if we'll reach it.

I sound like a crazy person!  I cannot be this mother.  It occurred to me this morning that my worries are probably not going to stop at his 6 month weight gain.  There will undoubtedly be plenty of opportunities to either worry about something or let it go.  And if I get into the habit of obsessing over things that are mostly out of my control, I will drive myself and our family crazy.

Unfortunately worrying comes naturally to me.  I worried and stressed about things before I had a child.  Now that I have a child and those things I worry about are directly tied to him, it has reached a whole new level.  I really need to make a conscious decision to stop dwelling on it when it creeps up, which is all the time.  Even just an hour ago, I was walking by the bathroom with Connor and I was very tempted to go in and weigh him (like I did yesterday and the day before that and the day before that).  I chose not to.  At least it's a start.

I truly believe that it doesn't need to be this way.  I shouldn't just resign myself to a lifetime of stress and anxiety as a mother.  This is an opportunity to choose not to be anxious, so I'm not going to be anxious.  If Connor hasn't doubled his birth weight by Monday, THAT IS OK.